Moment and moments
"In Moment is incalculable value." - Awia
The idea of being "in the moment" is almost trite among those walking the spiritual Path, as they have heard and read this phrase so often from others and from the spiritual literature. Just "be in the moment" is what so many will write about or tell you. But do you understand clearly "how" to "be in the moment", or even exactly what "the moment" is?
The quote I presented at the start of this chapter is the verbal summation of a "rote" I received, and is what resulted in me considering the expression "in Moment" as contrasted with "in the moment". Why? "In the moment" implies two things; "the person" and "the moment", but Reality is that there is just "Moment". You and Moment are One. Given that you and Moment are One, there is not one moment (or moments) today and another moment (or moments) tomorrow, either! It is simply "Moment". "Moment" equals Awareness of Presence, or Being, so if you are not Aware by that definition, you are not in Moment. You may understand this more easily by realizing that my definition of being in Moment does not mean being focused on a physical activity or experience in "present time". It is a fact that you can work towards being in Moment by focusing intently on present time Experience, but that is not the end of the process, but the beginning. Think about it; if being in Moment had only to do with physical experiences, wouldn't the perception of an almost endless array of different "moments" be an accurate representation?
What I am sharing here is distinctly different from that concept. To understand this fully requires you to examine your own mental and emotional activity. How much of your thinking and feeling time/energy is spent on either the past or the future? Once you realize how much of your time and energy goes into "somewhere" other than Moment, and once you realize that "where" you spend your thinking and feeling time is entirely up to you, the keys to bringing yourself into Moment are in your hands.
By the way, if you are not in Moment, what are you in? You are in illusion. Illusion consists of consciousness of limiting parameters or distinguishing characteristics in Experience. Some describe it as being in separation, or separation consciousness. In religion, it is known as being "lost"; literally it means you have lost touch with Reality, or are lost in separation. When you are in that state of consciousness, you begin responding to Experience as though separation were Reality, and the perception that you are separate from what you need results in "problems" needing "solutions". Being in illusion should not be thought of as equal to "being in error", however; it is just not being in Moment.
In my Experience, being in Moment is a state of Awareness in which you are not thinking or feeling anything (or about anything) in particular; your entire attention is focused on your presence, or being. This means you are completely Aware of your body, all sensations of the body, your surroundings, your emotional state, and your mental state, all without doing any "thinking" or "feeling" about it at all. This means that you are not engaged in the exercise of distinguishing one "part" of Experience from another. But primarily and most of all, you are Aware of Awareness, of your own presence or being. You are simply in a state of intense Awareness in Moment, not of anything about Moment (as in thoughts or feelings).
This is as good an opportunity as any to explain a convention I use in this writing. You've noticed my use of the capital "M" in Moment, as opposed to moments. My intention is that, whenever I use the capital letter in a word not normally capitalized (like Moment), I am referring to a definition of that term that indicates the least dimensional complexity, or iteration, while my utilization of the lower case refers to a definition that indicates deep iteration. In this context, "deep iteration" means a multiplicity of whatever the word refers to (experiences, moments, etc.) and least iterated means closest to unity, or One (Experience, Moment). Such multiplicity (i.e. "experiences", "moments") is realized by ascribing differences in characteristics, or parameters, to distinguish each "part", one from another. It is the ascribing of the characteristic differences, along with the concomitant responses to these differences, which I am referring to with the term "iteration".
Returning to what being in Moment is, examine your mind (thinking center) and heart (feeling center). When you find yourself moving off into the future, the past, or some other imaginary scenario in your thoughts or in your emotional responses, you are no longer in Moment, but in illusion. Actually, anything you are thinking or feeling about that is not perceived in present time is imaginary.
Some people might call "being in Moment" a meditative state, and that's OK, but the object here is not labeling it, but doing it. Being in Moment can be very tranquilizing and you lose track of time quickly. This makes perfect sense because consciousness of time as increments, distinguished one from another by characteristic differences (rather than perceiving time as a simultaneous whole dimension), is part of being in illusion. Once you are accustomed to what Moment is, you will notice right away when you are in illusion instead because of the distinct perceptual difference between "in illusion" consciousness and "in Moment" Awareness. "In illusion" consciousness is like watching a movie; you may get intellectually and emotionally involved, but you are also not "in" it either. Often, there is a sense of not "giving yourself" to Experience, but maintaining yourself apart from it, at some emotional and/or mental distance.
"In Moment" equaling Awareness means you are Experiencing fully, not off in some mental or emotional imaginary evaluation of Experience. You Experience totally and "become one with it". This idea of becoming (actually being) one with Experience describes being in Moment. You withhold nothing of yourself; you do not keep parts of yourself away because, for example, you might feel hurt if you allow those parts to Experience in Moment. Look at the idea of having "parts" to yourself vs. being "just You" and notice the similarities to living in "moments" vs. being in Moment.
Even the expression, "Experience in Moment", is a misnomer, because the true objective is what can be described more accurately as "you experiencing yourself". In truth, all your Experience is you experiencing yourself; Experience is not "something" that is separate, apart from, or outside of, you because Experience, by definition, takes place within you. If it is within you, it is you (and I'm not referring to the physical body, but to consciousness as a function of Awareness).
The challenge is here because you may not want to experience "all of yourself". Why? Some "parts" of yourself may be embarrassing or frightening to you (to take just two examples), even to the point where you deny that those parts are "part of yourself". How many mental health difficulties are rooted in beliefs that a "part" or "parts" of the person (or even the whole person) is bad, inadequate, unsatisfactory, evil or wrong (or any of a number of other unpleasant descriptive terms)? If called on beliefs like this, such a person might be quick to trot out reasons why their personal (or some therapist's professional) evaluation is accurate and refractory to resolution. Perceiving this is all the more reason why you need to embrace and "resolve" those parts of yourself so that you can experience yourself fully and unconditionally.
How do you "embrace and resolve" parts of yourself that you do not feel comfortable with? The first step is recognizing that none of the true essence that is You is "bad", "good" or anything else other than just "being". You are, and that is enough validation. Now, before I go further into this, realize that I am not talking about actions and/or response to Experience. I am referring to the true essence that is You, not to how you (as the ego-self) have acted or responded to your perceptions in Experience. Starting with the recognition that You are validated, just as You are, enables you to begin the work that follows.
Start by looking at the spectra (dimensions) of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and knowledge that, up till now, you have concluded is you. The act of deciding that some of these "wavelengths" are "bad" and others are "good" is no different than looking at a spectrum of visible light and deciding that certain colors are "bad" and others are "good". Making distinctions in this manner is the act of adding another parameter, or dimension, to Experience. Taking Experience and "dividing" it up by making the distinctions is iteration of Experience, or what I call "aniteration". By contrast, think about how it feels to regard all of the "wavelengths" as equally acceptable. This is what enables the "embracing". The next step is realizing that not all of how you experience yourself is reflective or symbolic of Reality; some is reflective or symbolic of illusion. This illusion is whatever is incongruent with Reality, and Reality is, simply, limitlessness, also known as infinity. The realization of what is illusion and what is Reality is at the heart of discovering who you really are. Anything that is incongruent with Reality can be resolved into Reality.
The practical means of accomplishing the resolution of illusion (reduction of dimensionality) into Reality is what I call the "catiteration" of Experience. This process is undertaken internally via perception of, and response to, Experience. This word, "catiteration", is formed from the prefix "cat-", meaning to break down or reduce, and "-iteration", meaning the repeating of a process. Practical catiteration, in the context of this writing, means the removal of distinguishing characteristics, or parameters, governing your perception of, and response to, Experience. A quick example would be to look at an aspect of Experience that you have, in the past, decided was "evil". To catiterate this, you would remove the characteristic "evil" from that aspect of Experience, both in perception and in response. If, in this example, your response to "evil" was fear before you chose to do this practice, afterwards, "evil" no longer evokes that response. In fact, you do not perceive "evil" anymore, either. Most importantly, you may still decide not to do what in your past was designated "evil", but you do (or do not do) without any emotional or intellectual ties. This is what catiteration, or decreasing the dimensionality of Experience, means.
Why would you want to decrease the dimensionality of Experience? Doesn't that remove the "richness" from Experience? The reason why you need to do this is because the "richness" you perceive is obscuring who you really are, and it is resulting in the proliferation of a seemingly endless parade of "problems" that require your time, energy, and effort to "solve". While you are busy trying to "solve problems", or worrying about them, you have little or no energy left for self-realization. The resolution of illusion into Reality (catiteration) is extremely vital in Path Process for you because it is the only genuine solution to your "problems". Additionally, it is the sustenance for your Path Process via reclaimed energy (otherwise known as "taking your energy back"). The energy that is reclaimed is what was used, originally, to dimensionalize (iterate) Experience in the first place.
Being in Moment is an ongoing practice, not something you "master" and then don't have to work at any more. Today you will be closer to true "in Moment" Awareness than you were yesterday, and next week you will be even closer than you are today, and next year, . . . well, you get the idea.>
The ultimate experience of being in Moment is focusing Awareness on Awareness itself, not just on the sensory, mental, or emotional responses you are experiencing in present time. It is Awareness itself, that which is Aware of Experience, which you focus on. This is the very essence of the spiritual Path; to realize and know who you really are, you must be present to observe and Experience what transcends the beliefs, perceptions, and other illusions that are part and parcel of time-space Experience. What transcends time-space is your very Essence, which is Aware and Experiencing this life you are living. Get into the deep understanding of what this means and you will realize that even being in Moment in present time still contains elements of illusion (illusion being defined as anything that is not congruent with who you really are and what all really is). So, the truest experience of being in Moment must be pure Awareness of Awareness itself.
With practice, you can continue the exercise of being in Moment even while you are going about your daily activities.
As I contemplated the nature of Moment and moments, I was struck by a nagging familiarity; something about this way of understanding reminded me of something else I would never have connected Moment and moments to before. That is, until now, and the results of this contemplation I give to you in the next chapter.
Excerpted from "Fractalic Awakening - A Seeker's Guide"